Assessing Essays

After reading the two essays, make a list of observations.  What was done well?  What wasn’t?  Make sure you structure it according to the following formatting. For example:

Poem 1 – “The Jaguar”

Things done well

  • thesis is clear and frequently referred to
  • language is sophisticated

Things not done well

  • needs more cohesive ties
  • spelling is a problem

10 responses

  1. The jaguar

    • Thesis included and referred to often
    • Poem introduced
    • Accurate subject assumption
    • Links to thesis every paragraph

    • Many spelling errors
    • Badly set-out
    • Badly polished in areas

  2. Good Points:
    1.Many adjectives.

    2.Connections to thesis near begining

    3.Lots of poetry techniques observed.

    Bad Points:
    1.Redundancy obvious.

    2. Not linking to thesis

    3. Grammar errors

    A-: Surfer
    B+: Jaguar

  3. The Surfer:
    Paragraph 1
    -Links to thesis
    -Good explanation on structure
    Paragraph 2
    -Good justification of examples
    -Uses the word ‘arouses’frequently to link back to thesis
    Paragraph 3
    -Uses slim
    -Justification of examples
    Paragraph 4
    -Idenfities subject and mood
    -Good examples and evidence
    -Uses advanced words
    Paragraph 5
    -Links to thesis
    -Sums up slim points well
    Paragraph 1
    -Messy writing
    Paragraph 2
    -Topic sentance needs improving
    -Many grammatical errors
    Paragraph 3
    -Topic sentance didnt link to thesis
    Paragraph 4
    -Topic sentance did not link to thesis

  4. The Surfer:

    • Fluff line is intriguing.
    • Thesis is evident in introductory paragraph
    • Fairly well-written introduction – link to thesis and subject of poem.
    • Broad range of vocabulary
    • IT FLOWS
    • Many links to thesis
    • Frequent use of conjunctions

    • Fluff line and thesis are too similar and thus difficult to distinguish between.

    MARK: A-

    The Jaguar:

    • Thesis and fluff line evident
    • Relatively good links to subject

    • Based on Chris’ evaluation, links back to thesis are not clear

    GRADE: B+

  5. Leah, Alfie and Shontae.

    The jaguar:

    Things done well:
    The introduction and the conclusion paragrpahs are tied to the thesis
    They explained the poetic devises well
    Explained the structure of the poem
    Did a lot of planning
    proof read
    used inteligent language
    quotes were included

    Things not done well:

  6. The Jaguar
    – Mentions poets full name instead of referring to him as just the poet
    – Links well and obviously to the thesis
    – no mention of poem title
    – Explains structure of poem well
    – Reference to thesis
    – Good explanation of subject
    – Good interpretation of poem
    – no quotes to provide evidence
    – Used a quote from poem
    – Good use of evidence and good explanations
    – Uses the word “enjambment” and explains its use
    – Discusses use of language
    – Reference to thesis
    – lots of grammar mistakes
    – Wide range of advanced words and adjectives
    – Discusses mood
    – Lots of quotes
    – lots of grammar mistakes
    – Sums poem well
    – Generally good conclusion
    – Links to thesis well

    Grade = A-

  7. The Jaguar

    Things done well
    *Poem is introduced well
    *Every paragraph links back to the thesis
    *Explain the readers’ feelings
    * Lots of adjective used

    Things not done well
    *In the introduction, not clear which public issue
    * Fluff line does not fit
    * has not explain which specific poetic devices used

  8. Jaguar

    + good link to thesis
    + makes links to subject
    + adresses poet
    – doesn’t mention title
    – incorrect use of ancetent
    – doesn’t mention thesis in last sentence

    Paragraph 1:
    + good topic sentence – includes thesis
    – frequent spelling mistakes
    + talks about stanzas and their subjects
    – incorrect use of ancetent
    – no quotes

    Paragraph 2:
    -/+ one spelling mistake
    – strange way of structuring the paragraph
    + takls about the mood
    + explains the use of poetic devices

    Paragraph 3:
    + good use of vocab
    + explains the use of poetic devices
    – incorrect use of ancetent
    – no mention of thesis in last sentence

    + good topic sentence
    +/- first mention of title
    – too many adjectives
    – unclear last sentence (missing words)

    Mark: B+/A-

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